11 Things You Never Knew About The Female Orgasm

5. No two orgasms are the same. If you’ve had an orgasm that felt like a dud compared to one you’ve had previously, it’s not in your head. Torrisi says “all orgasms vary in intensity based on sensation, situation, excitement, and possible fears or inhibitions.” So things like environment, what’s going on in the rest of your life, and how you’re feeling that day are all factors, which is to say it’s not all on you (or your partner) to produce wild and crazy orgasms, every single time.

6. And yes, multiple orgasms are real. But that doesn’t mean you’ll experience them every single time, or at all. The website OMGYes.com has a lot of handy info and very detailed (read: NSFW) guides on how to prime your body for multiple orgasms, if you’re so inclined.

7. Some women have stronger orgasms while on their period. No shame if you personally hate period sex, but have you tried it? If not, you could be one of the women who say they only experience vaginal orgasms on their period, and not even know it.

8. Refractory periods aren’t just for men. You’ve probably heard of the “refractory period,” but probably only in the context of male orgasms. But this isn’t just for men! According to International Society for Sexual Medicine, refractory periods aren’t exactly the same for women, but it’s not abnormal to experience hypersensitivity after an orgasm that makes any physical touch too overwhelming to be enjoyable.

9. Some women experience pain with orgasm. Enough women, actually, that there’s a name for this phenomenon: dysorgasmia. It can be caused by a lot of things (from endometriosis to a history of sexual trauma), and usually takes a pelvic pain specialist to sort out. The thing to know about painful orgasms is that they aren’t necessarily normal, meaning you don’t have to go your whole life experiencing them. You can talk to your OB-GYN or general provider about this, or if you’re more comfortable, seek out a pelvic pain specialist.

10. Women can (and do!) have orgasms in their sleep. Everyone can have sex dreams, which means everyone can have “nocturnal orgasms.” Yet another thing that’s disproportionately associated with men. So yes, if you’ve had a dream in which you *really* felt like you had an orgasm, odds are, you did.

11. And, yes, “nipplegasms” are real. No two people have the same level of nipple-sensitivity, but for some, nipple sensitivity is so high they can actually orgasm from nipple stimulation alone (that’s a lot of nipples in one sentence). A study, published in Sexual and Relationship Therapy, that measured brain responses to various stimuli found that a small but real number of women experienced orgasms from having only their nipples stimulated. So do with that information what you will.